Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Game

Phasing's back??

It's back!

Not having exactly had a stellar record as far as being a drawback, this newest offering instead focuses on one of phasing's better aspects: as a defensive maneuver! Teferi's Protection phases out all of your permanents, keeping them safe and sound from any removal imaginable, while likewise enchanting you with Progenitus's Embrace so nobody can lay a finger on you while your stuff isn't there to protect you. In essence, YOU phase out as well.

Now, being able to skip out on things for a turn is nice, but it's a shame how all good things must come to an end. You really want to play it safe? Just opt out of the game!

Enter the rather unique Lethal Vapors, which allows you to skip as many turns as you please. Remember the infuriating Chronatog and Stasis lock from way back when? Same idea, but it's arguably an even harder lock to break. Simply activate Lethal Vapors's ability right after you play it, then without passing priority, activate it again in response to the last activation an arbitrarily large number of times. The destroying of Lethal Vapors is part of the effect, not the cost, so you can stack as many time skips as you could possibly want this way. Having skipped your next 500-odd turns, play Teferi's Protection. You have Protection from everything until your next turn, which remember, is not going to be for a very long time. You can now sit back and watch.

At this point your opponent will play out the rest of the game with an opponent whom he can't damage, target, or generally affect in any way. Probably most players will concede at this point rather than face a slow death by decking. Especially interesting, however, is if you pull this in a multiplayer game - it's functionally the same as being the guy kicked out first, except after everyone else is done slugging it out, you're still declared the winner no matter what. This could be a cruel bit of fun if you're in the mood to play on your 3DS but still win a big Magic game while you're at it. Heck, you could go play another Magic game while silently winning that first one!

Important note: if your opponent is wise to what you're about to do, he can unfortunately answer every turn-skip you activate with one of his own. That's where our friend Grand Abolisher comes in, preventing anyone but you from activating the Vapors the turn you play it! Another alternative is Claws of Gix - since you always gain priority right after adding something to the stack, you can immediately follow up your 500 turn-skips by sacrificing the Vapors. Seeing as the sacrifice is the activation cost on Claws of Gix, nobody can respond to that either! Who knew not playing Magic could be so much fun?

Moonmist

Moonmist is an interesting little card. It's most obvious use is for turning all of your werewolves into their crinos form stronger form and then completely swinging combat. Most people stop looking there, though, relegating it as a cute little tribal support card. Take a closer look, though: the card is quite generously worded. The first sentence is simply "transform all humans," full stop - whether they're werewolves or not. What else can this accomplish, then?

The Eternal Ski Jump

A peculiar interaction occurred to me, engendered by the unique qualities of Assault Suit as discussed last week. We've all seen creatures with activated abilities that last until end of turn, and we've all seen activated abilities that can be activated only once per turn. The humble Goblin Ski Patrol, however, is rather unique on a couple accounts.

As its oracle wording can attest, when you activate the Ski Patrol's ability, it gets +2/+0 and flying... forever. Not until the end of the turn, not until your next turn, until the goddamn sun goes out. Much like the permanent Riding the Dilu Horse, nothing short of leaving play undoes the bonus: because of course, why should it matter? You're sacrificing the Goblin at the end of the turn anyway. And just to ensure you don't try to double up by pumping four (or more) mana into him, you can only activate the ability once. But again, real estate for card text is precious, so there's no point making the addendum that this can only happen once per turn - you can only activate the ability once per game, period. Overall, the card gets the desired effect: he can go off a ski jump for one glorious attack before getting crushed to death by impact.

...unless he has the proper safety gear, that is. As you'll recall from the last article, if you activate the Goblin Ski Patrol and he has an Assault Suit equipped, he's not going anywhere at the end of the turn. At this point you can proceed to do whatever other tricks your want with the Suit, because for the rest of eternity you have a 3/1 flying Goblin, perpetually caught in the most radical ski jump ever. There's no card, counter or other marker to denote that he has the boost: ya just gotta remember. How often do you see that in the game, hmm?

Thought Police

We've outlined a number of ways to screw around with the rules of Magic over the years, all viewable under this heading if you so desire. The thing is, most of these exist in the realm of the purely theoretical - the type of circumstances that would only ever line up if some little stinker deliberately set out to do so. Fun to think about, but not the type of thing that will ever come up in an actual game.

Today, however, we're going to look at a bit of a rules snafu that is of particular interest because it is a situation that can easily happen in a real Magic tournament: it involves two cards that are both played regularly!

So first, we have Brainstorm. It's played quite a lot based on how powerful and versatile it is, but the effect is fairly simple: draw three cards and then put two back. Then you have another card played in Legacy quite a bit, and that's Sylvan Library.

The Library is something you might need to consider for a minute, seeing as it has had a few changes in wording over the years. As is often the goal (I hope,) the most recent oracle text makes it pretty clear how the card operates. You draw two extra cards during your draw step, and then of all the cards you've drawn this turn (which should usually be three, seeing as you have your normal draw step plus the two extra from the Library) you have to put two back or pay 4 life apiece to keep the extras. Again, a strong card, but not too tricky to understand.

Now, the problem is that these two cards interact in an odd way that may not be immediately apparent. If you have a Sylvan Library in play and then cast a Brainstorm during your upkeep, you will have to call a judge over to resolve this part of the turn. Yeah, no kidding. This is because Brainstorm permits you to put ANY two cards from your hand back on top of your library - they need not be from among the three cards Brainstorm drew you. Because of this, it could potentially be strategically important for an opponent to not know whether a card you put back is one you just drew or already had in your hand.

But then, when Sylvan Library triggers, you draw two extra cards and have the option to put any card you drew this turn back on top of your library. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal since those cards will generally be the usual plus the two extra from the library. However, the cards you drew from Brainstorm are also cards you drew this turn. So now it suddenly can't be clear whether or not a card you're placing back on top is one you drew with Brainstorm earlier in the turn. Because of this, you have to call a judge over solely to watch your hand of cards and confirm you aren't cheating, which is fairly ridiculous.

Double Negatives

Think back to grade four math class. Remember when negative numbers were dropped in your lap, and all the wild implications of adding negative numbers resulting in a decrease, or how subtracting negative numbers and the magic of the double negative results in a net increase? Well, Magic is a numbers-based game, and sometimes the unexpected implications of combined signifiers can have very interesting results.

One thing that's important to keep in mind is that creatures can have negative power. If you hit a Bouncing Beebles with Shrink, they're going to have -3 power for the turn, not just zero. Normally this is of no consequence, since a creature with negative power will still assign zero damage, but for our purposes today it's key that the game still tracks negative values of power. The trick is to find some use for a creature's power rather than just assigning combat damage.

Here's an easy example to start us off: consider Auriok Bladewarden. He can tap to pump a creature up - the bigger he is, the bigger a boost he gives. But what happens if you hit him with Chant of the Skifsang? Now he's got -12 power. He can still add his power to another creature, but what happens if you add negative twelve to a number? Why, it goes down by twelve! He can tap to give any creature a staggering -12/-12! You've achieved a mini-Visara in blue and white that can start firing off as early as turn three. Why use the Chant as a weak form of removal when you can transform it into a fearsome death cannon? Rabble-Rouser can serve in a less lethal capacity in red, letting you fog your opponent's whole board every attack. The result is kind of a colorshifted Dawnstrider (that doesn't even require a discard)... how very un-red!

Of course, adding negative values is pretty crafty, but there's nothing quite like a double negative to result in an unexpected boost. Giving a creature -13 power is a pretty hefty drop, but why settle for the double digits? Our favourite accidental monkeys, Hyalopterous Lemure and Viscid Lemures, can lower their power at will as often as you want. So if you lower a Lemure to -500 power, you can then sacrifice it to Ichor Explosion in order to... give every creature +500/+500! That's a pretty wild board state. If the seven mana for the Explosion is a little too hefty, Call for Blood can be had more cheaply and will probably be a win if you throw the bonus at your Invisible Stalker.

While the usually-fatal practice of reducing a creature's toughness is costed around par with most other removal, reducing power is generally a lesser solution and thus costed much more cheaply. So why not take advantage of this fact? There's no greater thrill than bamboozling your opponent with a rules interaction that makes sense but would never occur to the average player. Just don't be too surprised when suddenly everyone wants to trade you for your copies of Disorient and Constricting Tendrils.

Mana Abilities, Take Two

As we recently covered, the strictness of mana abilities can lead to some pretty bizarre consequences in very specific circumstances. A few more examples are gathered here, largely due to Chromatic Sphere featuring a mana ability that also causes you to draw a card.

Korlash, Heir to Blackblade and his fellow cards with Grandeur have an ability that involves discarding a copy of a card with the same name. What you might not have known is that it's actually possible to discard Korlash to himself. With a Suppression Field in play, his ability requires both mana and a discard to activate. Activate the ability of Words of Wind, then announce Korlash's ability. The quirkiness happens when you try to use a Chromatic Sphere's mana ability to pay for Korlash's ability - because remember, players can't respond to mana abilities, and they can be activated while paying for costs. So while paying for Korlash's ability (which costs "2, discard a card named Korlash, Heir to Blackblade",) activate Chromatic Sphere, replace the resulting card draw by returning Korlash to your hand, and then discard the card you just returned to your hand to finish paying the cost. Whoa! What happened there?

If you want to kick it old school rules-wise, it's possible to temporarily dip to 0 life or less while using mana abilities to pay for something. For example, with Words of Worship active, you can activate Tarnished Citadel and Chromatic Sphere to pay for a spell (might I suggest Repay in Kind?) and temporarily drop below 0 life until the Words replaces the card draw and brings you back to the realm of the living. After all, a player doesn't lose if they're only dead in between the checks on state-based effects. It almost feels like the old Mirror Universe ploy!

Because of the unique nature of mana abilities, Chromatic Sphere leads to many odd situations. If you control one plus a way to feed it mana, a Thought Lash and a Laboratory Maniac, you can win the game without ever giving your opponent a chance to respond - no Stifle, no Angel's Grace, nothing! Unlike the other combos listed, this one is good enough to actually win games at a tournament level... though be advised that it will result in no end of entertaining judge calls.

Mana Abilities

In order to play spells in Magic, you usually have to pay for them with mana, usually generated by using some kind of "mana ability." Island has a mana ability, Black Lotus has a mana ability, Skirge Familiar has a mana ability. In 1997, tourney hopeful David Mills was disqualified from the finals of Pro Tour: Los Angeles for announcing spells and then using the mana abilities to pay for them after, which isn't an uncommon practice. This led to history's only Magic riot, as a group of furious neckbeards stormed the stage during the awards ceremony and demanded justice for Mills. The judges relented and awarded Mills a second-place prize, and proceeded to change the rules so that it became legal to activate a mana ability while paying costs. Now the rules state that a player can't do anything in response to a mana ability, so nothing can disrupt said mana ability once it's started.

This brings us to Caged Sun, a card that doesn't really work. As hinted at with the prior examples, all mana abilities are activated (i.e. pay cost: do effect) with the sole exception of Caged Sun, which is triggered (i.e. when trigger, then effect.) The rulings on Caged Sun state that it does have a mana ability nonetheless, as otherwise this would create some awkwardness when playing spells with the Sun in play. In summary, Caged Sun has a mana ability that adds mana to your mana pool whenever a land adds mana to your mana pool. Okay, not too complex. The rules start to break down when Caged Sun itself becomes a land, however. This can be accomplished by combining a few cards...

March of the Machines makes all artifacts into creatures, so Caged Sun is now an artifact creature. (You starting to notice how often this card comes up in these articles?)
Artificial Evolution or Xenograft make your creatures into a chosen creature type, so Caged Sun can become an "Artifact Creature - Saproling."
Life and Limb makes all saprolings into lands, so Caged Sun is at last an "Artifact Creature Land - Saproling Forest."

So at this point, Caged Sun has a mana ability that effectively reads "Whenever Caged Sun adds mana to your mana pool, add one mana of that colour to your mana pool." Neither player is allowed to do anything until this loop completes, so the players sit there helplessly as the game repeats itself ad nauseum. At this point, the game is nothing less than a draw.

Caged Sun is a fun example of the problems potentially caused by type-changing effects, and also the looming threat of infinite loops. An infamous type-change conflict exists by combining Humility and Opalescence, which causes Humility to lose the ability that causes it to lose all abilities. But wait... then that would mean... yeah, things get kind of confused.

Layers & Licids

Dominating Licid doesn't work. 

No big surprise, you may say - this kind of esoteric behaviour is basically par for the course for such an obtuse creature type. But really, think about that: you may read the card's oracle text and think you know what it does, but it doesn't actually work.

The reason why is sort of weird, but it boils down to this: the "you control enchanted creature" effect tries to take place before the "this is an enchantment" effect, and the rules say that "enchanted creature" on a card isn't an enchantment doesn't refer to anything. So it winds up being a creature enchantment that does... nothing. All the other licids work, since they provide abilities that are added after the type-changing effect of a licid. That said, everybody is going to play Dominating Licid with the intended effect anyway, whether they know this piece of minutiae or not, and let's be real - the rules manager doesn't feel like figuring out how to reword it since it would be clunky as hell.

The Typeless Permanent

Neurok Transmuter seems like a fairly standard idea for cards-that-play-around-with-artifacts that one would expect in the Mirrodin setting. He can turn creatures into artifact creatures, or artifact creatures into nonartifact creatures... that's bound to have some strategic applications here and there. The thing is, that second ability is pretty unique. How often do you see a card that can remove a type from a permanent? Now, again, he can only target creatures - you can't remove the artifact type from your Sky Diamond or whatever - so you'll always be left with a nonartifact creature.

Or will you?

There are a number of artifacts that can temporarily turn into artifact creatures, making themselves valid targets for the Transmuter, but these effects generally end at the end of the turn, the same time the Transmuter's effect stops. There is one weird and classic exception, however:

The humble, pioneering Jade Statue can be turned into a creature only until end of combat, after which it reverts back to being a plain ol' artifact for your postcombat main phase. See where I'm going with this? During the combat phase, you can animate Jade Statue, then target it with Neurok Transmuter, turning it into a blue creature. Then, after combat ends, it stops being a creature... but wait, it also stopped being an artifact! So what is it? For the rest of the turn, you are the proud owner of a (blue) permanent that has no types. It's not an artifact, it's not a creature, it's... just there. Amusingly, being typeless makes it surprisingly resilient to removal - basically nothing short of Vindicate or Apocalypse can take out a typeless permanent.

Since we've already noted the abusiveness March of the Machines allows for twice in recent memory, I might as well point it out here as well: this headache-inducing enchantment likewise pairs with the Neurok Transmuter to produce typeless permanents. In order for March of the Machines to turn something into a creature, it must be an artifact in the first place. So if it turns an artifact into a creature, then the Transmuter makes it no longer an artifact for the turn, then the March will no longer make it a creature. You see? Typeless permanents on demand! Throw in Moonlace and they can be colorless as well as typeless. What you can actually do with these no-type wonders is up to you to figure out.

For that special someone you really, really hate.

You've had opponents you hate. That guy who thinks he's a Magic virtuoso just because he can pilot a burn deck. The kid who just started playing and thinks he knows it all, but still tries to attack your creatures every single game. The girl who wants to play "fast mana." The old timer who plays Stasis.

But has there even been one guy... that guy... who was worse than all the others? That you really wanted to get back at? That you wanted to... physically destroy a bunch of his expensive cards? In-game... and legally, too?

That got your attention.

1. Play Mycosynth Lattice. Everything in play is now an artifact.
2. Play March of the Machines. Everything in play is now an artifact creature. (You should probably play something like Glorious Anthem to make sure your lands stick around.)
3. Play Blacker Lotus. It will now be a creature, thanks to March of the Machines.
4. Play Mindslaver to take over your opponent's next turn.
5. During his turn, play Mirrorweave, targeting your now-animate Blacker Lotus.
6. Proceed to activate the Lotus' ability for all of your opponent's permanents.
7. Oh, yes.

Be forewarned - if your opponent catches on to your master plan, he'll either concede or start bashin' heads. Still, this is among the most evil things I think you can 'legally' do in a Magic game.

A Different Kind of Experiment

Taking the activated abilities of creatures is good, but why stop there? Sure, putting a +1/+1 counter on Avatar of Woe and a Horseshoe Crab means you can pay one blue mana to blow up any creature as often as you want, but that's more-or-less under the purview of what's expected. A better combo essentially chews up and spits out the rules of the game.

1. Have Mycosynth Lattice, March of the Machines and Experiment Kraj out.
2. Play any planeswalker. Thanks to your other cards, it is a planeswalker, an artifact and a creature all at once.
3. Put a +1/+1 counter on the planeswalker. Experiment Kraj now has all activated abilities of the planeswalker. So get this - the rules that say a planeswalker's abilities can only be used once per turn pertain to planeswalkers specifically, which Kraj is not. Since they don't require tapping or anything else, you can use any +X abilities the planeswalker has as much as you want to get an arbitrary number of loyalty counters on Kraj.
4. It's like Christmas morning. Bounce everything with Jace, the Mind Sculptor, immediately wipe your opponent's lands with Ajani Vengeant, throw out Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker's ultimate ability three times just to be safe. Anyone left? The various Chandras can throw all the damage in the world at their faces.

Congratulations, you've just passed Breaking The Game 101. Who knew a planeswalker spark was so easy to replicate?

Magic: the Gathering for mostly fun and not much profit!

Step 1. Play Volrath's Laboratory and choose to make blue Illusion tokens.

Step 2. Make an Illusion token. Its name as well as creature type are just "Illusion."

Step 3. Play Retraced Image to put Illusion/Reality from your hand into play.

Step 4. ???

Step 5. PROFIT!

Magic: The Gathering for fun and profit!

Step 1. Use Splintering Wind to put a Splinter token into play.

Step 2. Donate the Splinter token to your opponent.

Step 3. Play Mimeofacture on the Splinter token to search your opponent's library for a copy of the sorcery card Splinter and put it into play.

Step 4. ???

Step 5. PROFIT!

I Think, Therefore I Am

Maybe tinkering with Un-cards is kind of cheating, since there are no end of rules they break for the fun of it. That said, I think we have a very unusual scenario that you wouldn't expect to be able to achieve, with Yet Another Aether Vortex. With a tricky little scenario, it can be in play simply because it says so.

Even if there are no permanents in play, and no cards in any player's hand or graveyard, Yet Another Aether Vortex can be face-up on top of your library, as well as in play. This may not seem possible in a vacuum, but consider this: you have a copy of Yet Another Aether Vortex in play, which naturally reveals the top card of your library, being... a second copy of Yet Another Aether Vortex! So the one in play makes the one on top of your library count as being in play as well, making its abilities active just as any other permanent's would be. But let's say you then play Renounce, sacrificing everything you've got except for the Vortex on top of your library. Now it is your only permanent, and it's only still in play because it says it is. "The top card of your library is in play." "Sez who?" "Me, the top card of your library!" Its ability keeps its ability active. Sure, when you draw it next turn the party is over, but whoever saw that one coming?

Enchant Enchantment

Local enchantments always want to be stuck on something else. Enchant creature, enchant player, even enchant world! Perhaps most accommodating of all is the enchant permanent, which can be stapled to anything at all, even... well, even another local enchantment, come to think of it. Is there something that can be done with this fact?

Consider this: play Indestructibility on one of your cards. Now play a second Indestructibility, enchanting the first one. Lastly, use Simic Guildmage to make the first Indestructibility instead enchant the second one (which is enchanting it in turn.) The result is two auras that are only kept in play by virtue of enchanting the other. Oh yeah, and in this case, they happen to be indestructible, too? Weird stuff.
"Something here is indestructible."
"What is?"
"The indestructibility."