Card in Review - Overlaid Terrain

Between forums, up-to-the-minute strategy articles and online repositories for decklists, it's easier than ever to tap into the well of fine-tuned net tech. Everyone in a play environment will know the best cards, the strongest strategies and the most degenerate combos to look out for. More often than not, the top 8s in high-level play will be a series of mirror matches, with each player running a slight variation of the same damn deck once it's identified as the most optimal choice. We end up seeing the same cards over and over, always being used in the same ways as part of the same strategies.

By gum, one gets tired of optimized play after a while. I want to see some rubbish!

In today's episode of Card in Review, we're also dipping our toes into the well of Bad Card Made Good - a feature that hasn't been given a nod in a long time but which is often one of the most fun exercises in deckbuilding. So who's the lucky loser for today's feature?

Keeping the Peace

A 4/4 for two mana? Sweet. In white? Even better! Without a double-white casting cost? Where do I sign? That would be the logical reaction if Loxodon Peacekeeper had no text box. But alas he does and because of it, he blows and is the subject of this edition of "Bad Card Made Good."

Forget the Peacekeeper's drawback and focus on its name for a moment. It's a peacekeeper. Not many decks are going to attack headlong into a 4/4 in the early game. Add a few walls to the mix and you're in even better shape against any early onslaught.
Next, enter the Loxodon Warhammer. Asides from making sense flavour-wise, it can get you a 7/4 trampler attacking on turn four. But wait, the mighty hammer gives you life, which is going to send the Peacekeeper in search of a new home. S'all good; you still control the equipment so you'll stay high and dry, plus we'll add some means to get our buddy back for more.

You'll need to ensure that the Peacekeeper has haste when he returns home, be it on your upkeep if you're lower on life or by using Brand. Anger's a better ticket than Lightning Greaves, since we'll still want to target the traitorous elephant.
When it comes to the big finish, there are no shortage of options here. You can rupture an equipped Peacekeeper to deal seven to the world. There's also fling. But best of all? Swinging with the Peacekeeper and letting him head to the opposing bench so you can hit him with Cinder Cloud, dealing seven to your foe's skull if he's equipped. Your friend will be stunned when your "Lox" turns his life total into a bagel. ALL CREAM, NO CHEESE, BABY!

Artifacts
4 Loxodon Warhammer

Red
4 Anger
4 Brand
4 Cinder Cloud
2 Fling
4 Rupture
4 Starstorm

White
3 Angelic Wall
4 Loxodon Peacekeeper
4 Perimeter Captain

Land
4 Battlefield Forge
11 Mountain
8 Plains

Thumb's Up

Another installment in "Bad Card Made Good." Well... this time around, maybe "Bad Card Made Mediocre." So what are we dealing with today? Coin-flip cards. Every set seems to have them, virtually all of 'em suck and unfortunately they usually take up a rare slot. No surprise then that Krark's Thumb is a shiny, lustrous five-cent rare if ever there was one. Until we come along and break it, that is.

Krark's Thumb is not a curse for the intrepid deckbuilder, but an opportunity for fun - more fun than any Magic player should have. You just need to get the most abusable coin-flip cards out there in hand; from there it's a snap! This Krark's Thumb deck is perfectly suited for casual dueling or multiplayer mayhem. It can really nail an unsuspecting opponent, quickly reducing him to single digits. It's a fiery assault that will force even the most stalwart opponent to knuckle under. With all the reusable gimmicks a deck like this packs, it is ideal for chaos games, where double-helpings of cheese launch quite the joint offensive. Help me... I can't stop.

So how does one play with the Thumb? Certainly no Twiddle is required; although sideboarding one is a natural. Draw into a Thumb using Thirst for Knowledge, or Fabricate for one, then proceed to unleash the heavy artillery: Fiery Gambit. Don't forget to "go all in" and float mana before casting the Gambit; you'll need every last resource to unleash the nine new cards you're about to draw.

Artifacts
4 Krark's Thumb
2 Mirror Gallery
1 Wirefly Hive

Creatures
2 Goblin Archaeologist
3 Goblin Assassin
3 Siege-Gang Commander

Spells
3 Fabricate
4 Fiery Gambit
4 Lightning Bolt
1 Mana Clash
3 Shrapnel Blast
3 Stitch in Time
4 Thirst For Knowledge

Lands
2 Great Furnace
4 Island
2 Izzet Boilerworks
2 Mirrodin's Core
12 Mountain
2 Seat of the Synod

Sideboard
3 Goblin Sharpshooter
2 Havoc
2 Hibernation
2 Pyrostatic Pillar
4 Smash To Smithereens
1 Stabilizer
1 Twiddle

Rags to Liches

Trash rares. Every set has 'em, and the odds are you're gonna crack one or two while trying to score a hot rare foil. It doesn't have to be that way, though. No, I'm not advocating ripping packs open before making you gaming shop purchases. Instead, why not turn garbage into gold? With a little ingenuity, any card - alright, goblin game excepted - can be turned into a theme deck gem.
Today's lesson: Nefarious Lich Lockdown.

Let's get the obvious out of the way: 99.9% of the time, Nefarious Lich blows. In a way, though, that makes it a useful card. For one, you'll never have trouble trading for one or four. More importantly, when you break it, you'll look like a friggin' genius. So how exactly does one go about doing this?

In order to break this seldom-used enchantment, you'll need both a surefire way to gain life and a productive means by which cards could be pitched. Enter Confessor and Zombie Infestation. Suddenly, for every two cards discarded, you gain two life. However, with the Lich in play, you would draw two cards instead. Chuck those to the infestation, create another 2/2 creature token, draw two cards, wash, rinse, repeat.

The Lich and the Infestation are black; Confessor is white. We're done choosing colours, right? Not so fast, killer. Let's not forget that should the Nefarious Lich leave play, even due to a bounce spell, you lose. Don't leave home without a splash of green for Tranquil Grove. Furthermore, this gives you access to an alternate win mechanism in Wild Mongrel. The broken hound serves two purposes here. First, it allows the deck to come out fast with teeth bared. Secondly, in the event you can't get an Infestation into the mix, the dog provides you another means to which you can cycle cards. Use black elimination to clear the path and let the dog swing for the fences.

Four copies each of Diabolic Edict and Ghastly Demise, plus three Innocent Bloods, clear out threats while you set up. Four Tutors let you fetch the Lich, as do your Sterling Groves if the situation is dire. Try to keep a Grove in play to protect you at all costs, though.

Lastly, the deck runs Life Burst. In the early game, it provides a shot in the arm to buy time to set up. It also lets you play the Lich in a pinch, netting a potential 16 cards for two mana. That oughta find the creature-kill you need, or the Confessor and Zombie Infestation needed to set up the kill mechanism.

The Deck

Black
4 Diabolic Edict
4 Diabolic Tutor
4 Ghastly Demise
3 Innocent Blood
2 Nefarious Lich
4 Zombie Infestation

Gold
3 Sterling Grove

Green
4 Wild Mongrel

White
4 Confessor
4 Life Burst

Lands
3 Forest
3 Krosan Verge
3 Plains
11 Swamp
2 Tainted Field
2 Tainted Wood


There are a few other options you can run. Echoing Courage can serve as insurance, but you should be able to spawn enough tokens to flood your opponent in one or two attacks. The confessor serves as a keystone in the deck, so a form of protecting him can be paramount; Floating Shield isn't a bad idea. Running Greater Auramancy instead of the Grove can let you stick to only two colours, smoothing out the deck. Lastly, if you have money, bombs like Damnation and Vindicate can tighten the deck up, and fetch lands can ease out the mana curve further. As is, however, the deck should work better than you'd expect.

The most fun decks to play are ones where your opponent laughs when you play a "rotten" card, then watches helplessly as that crapmeister causes their death. Sure, I wouldn't recommend whipping this bad boy out at a Vintage tourney, but heck, for sheer fun value, I'd rather play Nefarious Lich than Donate or Affinity any day.

As a parting note, try the Nefarious Lich with Words of Worship. Just for fun.