Customized Mages

Waging war on enemy planes can be a tiresome task, especially when you're working all by yourself. And, while each deck you build is different, the mages in charge of your library are always the same: 20 life, seven-card hands, one card drawn per turn. Ho hum. How about a little variety?
In this variant for Magic, you get to add a little flavour to your own abilities. Instead of representing yourself with one mage, you can assemble your own spellcasting team from two to, well, however-many-you-want mages. Each one has his own strengths and weaknesses but, combined, you've got a powerful circle of wizards to represent you.

15-card Highlander

A lot of the play variants that seem to have the most success are predicated on thinking big. 5-color Magic, with its 250-card decks, had its day in the sun for many years. Nowadays EDH is the casual format of choice, and it involves a cool 100 cards. Doesn't a teetering pile of cardboard sometimes get a little tiresome, though? The hassle shuffling it, the delay of game every time you search for something, the struggle finding room to carry and transport the behemoth... not to mention that the bigger your deck is, the less consistent it is, inevitably leading to long, drawn-out games that can take all afternoon to finish. Wouldn't you rather be able to get a few games in if you can help it? Sometimes the pared-down fun of playing with a 40 card deck in Limited formats can lead to tight gameplay... so why not push that concept to the limit and get some real pared-down decks?

The Tower

The recent edition of Planechase reminds me of a much older supplemental format we simply knew as "The Tower." It is similar to Planechase, but much older and not mandated by Wizards of the Coast... and by both tokens obviously superior!

The Game of Life

Building off the last article, this is a quick Multiplayer variant that can add spice to an otherwise tepid game.

In this variant, life never disappears; it is passed between the players. Instead of a life total, each player begins the game with 20 poker chips, counters, whatever. (Using "fingers and toes" as a symbolic unit not recommended.) Whenever you deal damage to another player with a spell, effect or creature, that player must give you a number of chips equal to the damage. For example, if you cast Lightning Bolt on a player, he loses three chips, you gain three chips. (Even better than Lightning Helix!)

When a player has zero chips, he is out of the game. If one of your cards deals damage to you or causes you to lose life, you lose chips to the "bank," which is empty at the beginning of the game. Whenever you gain life from a spell or effect, take chips from the bank. If there aren't enough chips - as will usually be the case - you're outta luck. In addition, you may attempt to bribe other players by giving them chips, but a player who takes a bribe is not required to keep his word. Likewise, a player who promises a payment is not required to follow through on the pact.

Parting advice: with this variant, seriously watch out for Transcendence decks.

Multiplayer Madness

You and several of your friends sit down to play a big game of "chaos" multiplayer Magic fresh and full of enthusiasm. Three hours later, nobody is willing to do anything offensive, except for the guy who attacked early on - and he was ganged-up on and killed two-and-half hours ago. Now it's down to whoever played the least card-drawing and is decked last. Or maybe you got mana-screwed with only one land. For the first seven turns, your opponents took pity on you. Eventually, when you still had no land, they decided to put you out of your misery. Now, you've got to sit around for two hours - relegated to watching reruns of NBC's Saturday night "Thrillogy" - while your friends have fun.

Sound like your multiplayer games? If you've ever tried playing a large game with five or more players, you've probably run into these problems, and quite a few other ones as well. Fortunately, there are ways you can improve your multiplayer experience. Here are some of the common problems players encounter and a few solutions:

Ante Up

Ante cards were an interesting but generally disliked part of the Magic universe. In the game's beginnings, playing for ante was the expected thing to do - cards were on the line, and if you won it was considered good form to offer to trade your opponent's ex-ante card back for something else. Of course, with remarks of advocating satanism already on the game's head, Wizards didn't want the idea of supporting gambling in there as well. Also, rumour has it people don't like losing their cards. So, ante cards are all banned and no one really plays for ante anymore.

That doesn't mean it never happens. And if it does, there are some pretty rude tricks one can pull.

An evil deck can be built with just 56 swamps and four copies of Darkpact, a black sorcery that lets you switch the top card of your library with either ante card. You'll probably flip up a swamp as your ante card. You can later cast Darkpact to switch your top library card - another Swamp - with your opponent's ante card. Then concede and laugh maniacally.

Another nasty trick involves one of the few ante creatures, Tempest Efreet. Once your opponent has played something particularly nice, cast the Efreet, which lets you switch ownership of it and any card in your opponent's hand. Use discard to knock out his hand, then a bounce spell like Boomerang to pop a cool card back to his hand to be nailed by the Efreet. Not bad, but the clincher? Make a token of the Efreet and use it instead! Yes, you legally take one of your opponent's cards (or just win) and he gets squat. Pulling it off with Dance of Many is pretty mean, but see what happens when you enchant him with Splinter Twin.

Lastly, Contract from Below. What's the mean trick involving this card? Oh, just playing it. People said Ancestral Recall is okay for netting you three card for one mana; this gets you seven for the same amount. Plus, if you're playing 5-colour Magic, it has errata saying you don't ante anything if you're not playing for ante... meaning it has no real drawback. Whee....

The Chess Game

So you just finished your zillionth game of Magic, and there's this strange feeling in your gut. No, it's not the Taco Bell special you had for lunch. It's an actual urge to play a game other than Magic. Lie down for a while; it might go away. If it doesn't, go ahead and try an old favourite - a game of chess. It has always been the game of kings, so maybe it could hold your attention for a while, too.

Chances are, you did not prepare for this eventuality. I mean, really, who plays anything other than Magic? So it is entirely possible that you don't have a chess set. Don't despair. You can draw a 64-square board on that old pizza box over there; it was stinking up the place anyhow. Then go ahead and use these Magic cards as your chess pieces.

White
1 King Suleiman (king)
1 Jhovall Queen (queen)
2 White Knight (knights)
2 Soltari Priest (bishops)
2 Castle (rooks)
8 Squire (pawns)

Black
1 Lord of the Pit (king)
1 Coffin Queen (queen)
2 Black Knight (knights)
2 Priest of Gix (bishops)
2 Castle Sengir (rooks)
8 Thrull Retainer (pawns)

How to Become a Millionaire in Three Easy Steps

After the great TCG Rush of '94, the Fairly Impressive TCG Boom of '95, the Not-Quite-as-Inspired TCG Surge of '96, and the Lean Season of '97-'98, 1999 saw the launch of several new games - from Tomb Raider to Young Jedi and even some game called Pokemon. I think it's French.
Anyways, things have seemed pretty quiet since then. But no doubt that you, too, will soon want to enter the thriving TCG Market with a game of your own. But hey, it's a cruel world, kid - especially, let's face it, for someone like you - so don't waste your time furrowing your simian brow trying to come up with an original idea. Ain't gonna happen. Instead, use this handy TCG construction kit!

Step 1. The Mix n' Match Game Namer
No name, no game. Trust me on this, game designers always come up with the name first. To use, simply take one from column A, one from column B, and one from column C:

Pokey	Mayhem	The Bludgeoning
Jurassic	Crack	Jamboree
Propecia	Vampire	Action Theatre
Butt	Death	The Showering
Orangutan	Trooper	Deathblow
Mud	Carbuncle	Beyond Neptune
Eclectic	Monkey	The Fattening
C.H.U.D.	Foot	3000 A.D.
Flatulence	Trucker	Project
Homicidal Clown	Ranger	Kersplat!

Step 2. Gameplay Features
Every game needs "gameplay features" - little elements that set it off from the rest of the TCG pack. Too many, and only unemployed college students will play your game. Too few, and even the most rabid fanboy/girl will lose interest and go back to selling foil Pikachus on eBay. Here are some sure-fire winners to add marketing sparkle to your new TCG:
Cards. I can't stress this enough, people. Without cards, (virtual or otherwise, both of you Sanctum players) there's no game. Usually, you'll want them all to be the same size, and often they're rectangular. Eventually, you'll put stuff on the cards....
Card Art. Funny primates we are, we humans love looking at pretty pictures. Put art on your cards, or they become weird, boring little cards with, um, no art. Fear not, ye without artistic talent: the prototype for even Magic used semi-legal clipart for the card art. For your first game, you may wish to simply cut out illustrations from an old, cherished family photo album. Especially those pictures of your sister.
Rules and Card Text. Come up with some way to pit cards against each other, probably involving tapping (but don't call it that; that's patented.) Then write a bunch of rules violations. These violations will become your card text. Let's say you're feeling particularly adventurous and for your new Care Bear Battles TCG you pit your cute n' cuddly Care Bear against another cute n' cuddly Care Bear in a no-holds-barred grudge match. A veritable melee of carin' and sharin'... okay, kid - whatever you think will sell. Anyways, you play cards to decide how much damage Share Bear, for instance, will inflict upon Love-a-Lot Bear when she rips into that little pink sucker's esophagus with her claws. "Spend one point of Caring: Target Care Bear gets impaled on a big sharp stick for 25 damage" would be an example of card text.
Gimmick, License or Celebrity Spokesmodel. So Care Bear Battles is ready to go into production, but who's going to buy it? No one knows who you are. Let's face it, why should they? They've never heard of you, punk, and they probably wouldn't like you if they met you. For that matter, the last time I heard anyone mention the Care Bears was back in '97, and I'm pretty sure it was part of a shuttle Challenger joke. What if, instead of lame-ass generic Care Bear Battles, you tried to drum up support for Charles Nelson Reilly's Care Bear Battles? Stanley Kubrick presents Full Metal Care Bear Battles? Homicide: Life on the Care Bear Battles? Why, you'd be writing your own ticket, kid, that's what.

Step 3. The Golden Rule
The Great Screenwriter William Goldman once wrote that the golden rule of Hollywood is:
"Nobody knows ANYTHING." 

Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that the Golden Rule of card games could well be:
"Nobody's ever happy." 

The more people complain, the happier they really are. Trust me on this. It's all in design.