Card in Review - Assault Suit

Magic is a game of synergies. The most effective decks time and again seem to involve several powerful cards that can roughly replicate what the others do. A control deck might not particularly favour a Dissipate over a Dissolve in the late game, and a dedicated burn deck will take Lightning Bolt, Chain Lightning and Lava Spike all on equal footing. Decks that are too focused on a particular card - most often seen in EDH decks that are helpless without their commander out - are too delicate, and will fall apart if their key card is removed in a way that a more modular deck wouldn't. (I don't mean Modular decks, mind you.)

That said, don't you sometimes just see a card that's so interesting that you want to build around it?

Welcome to Card in Review, a new feature here that, rather than looking at some aspect of the game as a whole, will pick one open-ended card and analyze all sorts of tricks that can be done with it, both general and specific.

What card are we selecting for this first foray into the world of tunnel vision?

...you were thinking it might have been Tunnel Vision, didn't you?

No, for the first Card in Review, I'll be looking at Assault Suit, a card with a surprising amount of depth to it once you start considering the implications of all of the abilities it proffers.

So in its barest form, the Assault Suit is an intriguing multiplayer card. You equip it to one of your creatures, it gets a respectable boost of +2/+2 and haste, then on your opponent's turn, you can give the creature to them. Thankfully, the Suit makes it so they can't attack you with it, meaning you aren't putting yourself at risk. Of course, in a one-on-one game, this will accomplish nothing, since you're just giving your opponent a creature that can't attack. Once there are three or more players involved... it gets a little interesting.

Things to consider:

-You still control the equipment
Your opponent takes the creature for the turn, but Assault Suit doesn't change control just because the creature it is on did. So it's not like he can equip it to another creature of his choice, or sacrifice the Assault Suit. On that note, if you equip a creature with Assault Suit and Moonsilver Spear and an opponent attacks with it, you still get the angel token, not him.

-The creature can't be sacrificed
A very interesting clause, mainly to keep your hot potato from simply being fed to an opponent's Goblin Bombardment and summarily executed. More on this later.

-Nothing forces the creature to attack
This is one of the effects that I could imagine someone assuming is there, but the creature doesn't have to attack each turn if able. What you're counting on is the game theory to pit your opponents against each other: if your opponents agree not to attack each other with the equipped creature, then it won't be doing anything. The second an opponent does attack though, he's using a resource he has access to - your creature - that the other opponents aren't. So they would then want to attack him back if you give them the creature. Ultimately, using an opponent's Assault Suit-equipped creature doesn't put them at an advantage, but it puts at least one of their opponents at a disadvantage, so it's still favourable for them to make use of it. Naturally they might be trying to stomp you out, too, but at least they can't use the creature you're tossing around. Of course, you could always put the Suit on a creature that already has to attack each turn for the sake of insurance!


Now, which creatures can best make use of the Suit as a multiplayer mess-maker?

Zurgo Helmsmasher

A match made in heaven, Zurgo makes use of the Suit's features as precious few creatures do. Equipped, he's a 9/4 with haste, which is fairly enormous - especially considering he'll still be doling out commander damage if he's your EDH commander. He attacks each turn if able, meaning your opponents have no choice but take swings at each other - and even if he is chump blocked, he simply gets larger for the next attack. Most interestingly, he's indestructible "as long as it's your turn" - 'you' in this case referring to his controller. So not only is he indestructible on your turn, he is on every turn where you've gifted him to an opponent: there's only a short, sorceries-need-not-apply window where he's vulnerable on each upkeep. Plus, the Suit's no-sacrifice clause means he'll always be safe from Diabolic Edict and the like, too. I feel like Assault Suit would be a welcome addition to any Zurgo EDH deck interested in shooting first and asking questions never.

Ruhan of the Fomori

A little less synergistic than Zurgo but very similar, Ruhan's just an undercosted 7/7 who has to attack each turn if able. He attacks an opponent selected at random, but since the Suit makes you not a valid choice, you'll still never have to fear him backfiring on you. Watching your opponents helplessly tear each other apart with a 9/9 should speed up your game plan pretty well.

Emberwilde Caliph

Why settle for killing just one opponent at a time? Sure, Dauthi Slayer should be guaranteed to connect for 4 points on each opponent's turn, and Ulamog's Crusher not only swings for 10 but keeps forcing your opponents to drop their permanents at the same time. If you want to ensure borrowing your creature never puts any one opponent too far ahead, though, the Caliph has you covered. Your opponents are forced to attack each other with a 6/6 flampler and also lose 6 life every time they do! At that rate, everyone's life loss should quickly outstrip any you might suffer from using the Caliph yourself.

Rakdos the Defiler

Now we're getting a little less straightforward and a little more interesting. An equipped Rakdos will of course be a 9/8 flampler, which can put a heck of a hurt on opponents well enough on its own. As always, though, we're here for his wacky abilities. If one opponent attacks another with Rakdos, both of them will sacrifice half of their (non-Demon) permanents. You can attack with Rakdos, too, to speed things up, but if you want to hold onto your permanents, you can let your foes do all of the dirty work for you.
It's true that Rakdos does not have a must-attack clause, and your opponents in fact do have a big incentive not to attack with him, but the demon so conveniently comes in the same colours as Boiling Blood, Goblin Instigators, Heckling Fiends, Into the Fray, Rage Nimbus, Walking Desecration, Instigator, Imps' Taunt, Boros Battleshaper and the like. How Rakdos of your opponents to put on a show for you!

Phyrexian Negator

What's interesting about the Negator is that you don't even need your opponents attacking each other to be devious. After you give it to an opponent, simply target it with some burn (Lightning Bolt is good, Quicken-then-Shivan Meteor is better.) The Suit makes the Negator unable to be sacrificed, and of course your opponent doesn't control the Suit, so he'll only be sacrificing his own hard-earned permanents. Plus, it will be a 7/7 trampler, so it can make a real mess if it ever does take some swings.

Dralnu, Lich Lord has an identical drawback and can be used similarly, but he's not as big and runs the risk of letting your opponents take advantage of his activated ability.




There are a couple other cards up for some cute tricks with Assault Suit, like Bronze Bombshell, or equipping it to a creature borrowed with Mark of Mutiny so you can force your opponent to pass his creature around on other player's turns. Ultimately, though, the card's functionality is in getting your opponents to attack each other with your creature. A less discerning mind might assume that Assault Suit's usefulness begins and ends there. In fact, everything explained so far has been essentially an afterthought for me. When I first saw Assault Suit, I was much more intrigued by one little clause.

"Equipped creature can't be sacrificed."

...full stop. This effect is actually unique in Magic, and there is no way to get a no-frills "can't be sacrificed" effect otherwise. Some cards - like Tajuru Preserver and Sigardra, Host of Herons - come close, but they only prevent your opponent's effects from forcing you to sacrifice. Assault Suit disallows sacrificing regardless of the source. To illustrate my point, consider the following:

What happens if you don't pay Cosmic Larva's upkeep cost? Now what happens if you don't pay it but he has Assault Suit equipped? That's right, sacrifice two lands or don't, he's not going anywhere: he can't be sacrificed. You'd play a three mana 9/8 with trample, wouldn't ya?

What was likely intended to be just a safety feature on the card is perhaps the most interesting part to me. Suddenly a whole world of degenerate abuses opens up from not having to (indeed, not being allowed to) sacrifice your creature for any reason. Anyone with an upkeep cost, especially cumulative upkeep costs, can now pile up those age counters yet adamantly refuse to pay the cost turn after turn.

Phyrexian Soulgorger becomes a 10/10 with haste for three mana (six including the equip cost) and Herald of Leshrac can take every land you see without ever letting them go. Sheltering Ancient and Varchild's War-Riders becoming comically overpowered even if you don't bother giving them to an opponent each turn. Waning Wurm and Woodripper no longer care if they run out of time counters or fading counters, respectively. Archdemon of Unx keeps mysteriously spitting out zombie tokens even if he's your only non-zombie and nothing's actually dying. Desecration Elemental is suddenly on par with most of the rest of Mirrodin block. Heck, even Skyshroud Behemoth doesn't look so bad right now.

Feldon of the Third Path and Kiki-jiki can both get you cheap tokens of anything you want, but it has to be sacrificed at the end of the turn. Just keep moving Assault Suit to the newest token, and you'll get to keep each one instead. Same goes for anything cheated out by Impromptu Raid, Killer Instinct or Sneak Attack. Treacherous Urge and Slave of Bolas both let you permanently gain control of an opponent's creature - either from their hand or from play - without even leaving a permanent to be disenchanted.

Why keep those drawbacks to yourself? Donate your opponent a Steel Golem or Grid Monitor each upkeep and he'll never play a creature card again. Already got a board presence? No problem, send one of the evil eyes his way and none of his creatures will be able to take a swing at you. Goldnight Castigator gives you an easy one-sided Furnace of Rath but still swings for six in the air on your turn. I'm not sure what you can accomplish with Abyssal Persecutor, but it's certainly an intriguing play!

Still not impressed? How's this for a game swinger:

Assault Suit is colourless and the creature it's on can't be sacrificed. Resolve an All is Dust and you're probably going to have the only creature around. Happy assaulting!