I don't have any unique or creative insights today. So, I will subject you all to juvenile humour, instead.
Baton of Morale, Despotic Scepter, Staff of Ages, Throne of Bone: In the beginning, Magic was a story of men.
Bone Flute: It's been the lightning rod for Magic innuendo for years, Twiddled more often than anything and whipped out by many an Enlightened Tutor. No wonder creatures cringe when it hits the table.
Burning Palm Efreet: Geez - and you thought Indian Burns hurt. Somebody get this guy some aloe and a cold shower.
Chaotic Goo: Dare I say it's what comes out of a Rod of Ruin? Or what really led to that ultra-rare Splendid Genesis card?
Squee's Toy: Out of the back of which magazine was this thing ordered from? Furthermore, is it the inflatable kind or should I get batteries?
Stroke of Genius: Even Dominaria's heroes get the urge from time to time, especially with all them Phyrexians wanderin' about. Half-woman, half-TV, what guy could resist?
Spitting Slug: Especially since Viagra came along, Jolrael, Empress of Beasts hasn't stopped hocking these loogies of love. It's no wonder, most forest-dwellers love a man with first strike.
Explosive Growth: It's what caused the Mogg Toady to visit Serra's Sanctum. It's how Juzam converted Selenia to the dark side. The list goes on and on....
Callous Giant: Talk about having way too much time on one's hands, literally. This guy needs a chick, or he's ripe for a visit by Blinding Angel.
All that, and there's a naked broad on Sylvan Paradise. What is this game coming to....
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