After the great TCG Rush of '94, the Fairly Impressive TCG Boom of '95, the Not-Quite-as-Inspired TCG Surge of '96, and the Lean Season of '97-'98, 1999 saw the launch of several new games - from Tomb Raider to Young Jedi and even some game called Pokemon. I think it's French.
Anyways, things have seemed pretty quiet since then. But no doubt that you, too, will soon want to enter the thriving TCG Market with a game of your own. But hey, it's a cruel world, kid - especially, let's face it, for someone like you - so don't waste your time furrowing your simian brow trying to come up with an original idea. Ain't gonna happen. Instead, use this handy TCG construction kit!
Step 1. The Mix n' Match Game Namer
No name, no game. Trust me on this, game designers always come up with the name first. To use, simply take one from column A, one from column B, and one from column C:
| Pokey | Mayhem | The Bludgeoning |
| Jurassic | Crack | Jamboree |
| Propecia | Vampire | Action Theatre |
| Butt | Death | The Showering |
| Orangutan | Trooper | Deathblow |
| Mud | Carbuncle | Beyond Neptune |
| Eclectic | Monkey | The Fattening |
| C.H.U.D. | Foot | 3000 A.D. |
| Flatulence | Trucker | Project |
| Homicidal Clown | Ranger | Kersplat! |
Step 2. Gameplay Features
Every game needs "gameplay features" - little elements that set it off from the rest of the TCG pack. Too many, and only unemployed college students will play your game. Too few, and even the most rabid fanboy/girl will lose interest and go back to selling foil Pikachus on eBay. Here are some sure-fire winners to add marketing sparkle to your new TCG:
Cards. I can't stress this enough, people. Without cards, (virtual or otherwise, both of you Sanctum players) there's no game. Usually, you'll want them all to be the same size, and often they're rectangular. Eventually, you'll put stuff on the cards....
Card Art. Funny primates we are, we humans love looking at pretty pictures. Put art on your cards, or they become weird, boring little cards with, um, no art. Fear not, ye without artistic talent: the prototype for even Magic used semi-legal clipart for the card art. For your first game, you may wish to simply cut out illustrations from an old, cherished family photo album. Especially those pictures of your sister.
Rules and Card Text. Come up with some way to pit cards against each other, probably involving tapping (but don't call it that; that's patented.) Then write a bunch of rules violations. These violations will become your card text.
Let's say you're feeling particularly adventurous and for your new Care Bear Battles TCG you pit your cute n' cuddly Care Bear against another cute n' cuddly Care Bear in a no-holds-barred grudge match. A veritable melee of carin' and sharin'... okay, kid - whatever you think will sell. Anyways, you play cards to decide how much damage Share Bear, for instance, will inflict upon Love-a-Lot Bear when she rips into that little pink sucker's esophagus with her claws. "Spend one point of Caring: Target Care Bear gets impaled on a big sharp stick for 25 damage" would be an example of card text.
Gimmick, License or Celebrity Spokesmodel. So Care Bear Battles is ready to go into production, but who's going to buy it? No one knows who you are. Let's face it, why should they? They've never heard of you, punk, and they probably wouldn't like you if they met you. For that matter, the last time I heard anyone mention the Care Bears was back in '97, and I'm pretty sure it was part of a shuttle Challenger joke. What if, instead of lame-ass generic Care Bear Battles, you tried to drum up support for Charles Nelson Reilly's Care Bear Battles? Stanley Kubrick presents Full Metal Care Bear Battles? Homicide: Life on the Care Bear Battles? Why, you'd be writing your own ticket, kid, that's what.
Step 3. The Golden Rule
The Great Screenwriter William Goldman once wrote that the golden rule of Hollywood is:
"Nobody knows ANYTHING."
Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that the Golden Rule of card games could well be:
"Nobody's ever happy."
The more people complain, the happier they really are. Trust me on this. It's all in design.
