The Adventures of Bulbasaur

Sometimes a card tells a story. Floodgate. Orgg. Elder Cathar. Shahrazad (wait, not like that.)

But then, sometimes a card is literally telling a story.

I found this gem a year or so ago and I wish I knew more. The 33/64 in the bottom left suggests this was part of a 64-part story, as told by drawn-on Magic cards. I was only able to find one other card from the series, and it was so generic and filler that it didn't even warrant purchasing for a dime. Was this a sprawling epic about the adventures of Bulbasaur? Was he merely a bit part in the greater narrative? Will he ever find companionship in CITY? These, my friends, are questions we'll simply never know.

Alternatively, someone very purposefully made only the two pieces with the implication that they were part of a larger story, in which case well trolled, sir.

Acataleptically Meretricious Gearwarden of Marjfloop

Hoo boy. Magic is currently sitting at over 16 000 unique cards, and let me tell you... lately it really shows. How's that, you ask? Just look at the newest set, Kaladesh, and tell me they aren't scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel with card names nowadays. Effective, punchy, single-word names are in short supply after twenty-three years of printings, and we're left with entire sentences, the most tenuous synonyms left for "fiery" and made-up fantasy words that would make even George Lucas wince. Every set has had its weak names, all the way back to Alpha with Bad Moon and Dingus Egg. Except nowadays... it feels like every card has its weak names.

Card in Review - Sun Titan

M11's Titans were interesting in that they were printed to try and fill two criteria:
1. If they were killed immediately, you weren't left with nothing for your six mana.
2. You never had to choose between attacking with your fatty or using its ability.

Wizards accomplished this by giving them a solid ability that activated when they showed up as well as every time they attacked, in addition to being a 6/6 with a nice evergreen ability for safe measure. This was ultimately successful - possibly even too successful. The problem with the titans is that they overshadowed most every other 5+ drop that was available. Why bother with Vorinclex when you could have already played a Primeval Titan and pulled out six lands? Sure Balefire Dragon wipes your opponent's entire board if he connects, but by the time you play him, Inferno Titan has dealt at least 12 damage.
Each one was a strategy in a box, providing both a creature big enough to win the game as well as support to protect it/yourself or ways to deal with your opponent's threats. Most worked on autopilot - there wasn't much strategy to go with Inferno Titan other than turning it sideways each turn - but a couple required you to build around. Sure Primeval Titan's power came from pulling out combinations of overpowered lands, but even if he's just vomiting basic lands onto the board he's helping you out. The most build-around titan was neither the strongest nor the weakest, but the one I found the most interesting.