Goblins of Kaladesh

It is here that we christen a new type of feature article - What a Story, Mark!, based purely off all of the nonsensical, stupid and/or contradictory things said by Magic's rotund idiot child-king, Mark Rosewater. He may forget things he said a year ago, but he'll never let you forget that he wrote for Roseanne.

Today's incredible story comes from what was probably meant to be a humorous article that Mark Rosewater wrote in 2005 about Dwarves. In particular he touches on a sore spot of his - the art for the card Goblin Scouts - which clearly he has issues with because it is at least the third time he wrote about this same little story. Hey, you start off by writing for sitcoms, you get used to writing the exact same jokes over and over again. This time he really gets into the nitty-gritty of things:

Skywhaler's Shot

 

"So just how good of a skywhaler are you?"

"Oh, I'm just about the best. Seriously. You point it out and I can shoot it down."

"Is that so? Could you shoot down a bank of mist?"

"Easy peasy."

"Oh, really? How about a tidal wave?"

"Yawn."

"Could you take out every single wasp in a swarm with just one, single harpoon?"

"With my eyes closed."

"Yeah? How about that worm floating around in a lake down there?"

"Well geez, let's not be ridiculous. Nobody can just skewer a worm with a harpoon. Don't you have any serious offers?

"Well... what about that other worm next to it? It's got some paint on it."

"Oh, pfft. Broad side of a barn. Say no more, he's a goner. By the way, I think I'm a little bit psychic."

Card in Review - Nacatl War-Pride

Top-down designs are often the most fun, but likewise it's a treacherous terrain to navigate. When a card is designed with a concept in mind first, sometimes the implications of that concept can have loose ends once it's put to print. I'm not talking about such lofty concepts as giving a bird flying or a giant better stats than a human. I mean textbox-filling nonsense that communicates a cool idea - and if that idea is easy to take advantage of or build around, so much so the better.