The Punchline is Odd Flavour Moments

A jellyfish, a skyship and a shard of broken glass walk into a bar.

The bartender, being a planeswalker on the side, requests that the jellyfish pilot the skyship for his amusement. The jellyfish replies "Hey, don't look at me. I'm just a jellyfish. I have no idea how to drive that thing."
The bartender nods, seeming disappointed. Then, after a moment's deliberation, he hands the jellyfish the shard of broken glass.
"Thanks," replies the jellyfish, wielding it expertly. "In fact, you know what, I think that I can pilot that ship... so long as I have this, anyway." Immediately, it climbs into the flagship and starts its engine. Reaching in after it, the bartender takes the shard of broken glass back.
"Keep it," replies the jellyfish. "Now that this baby's started I'm sure I can still pilot this thing."
The bartender then gives the shard of broken glass to the ship itself, which also wields it expertly. Taping the shard of glass to the hull of the titanic, flying, magic-shooting skyship improves its firepower by over 15%. The bartender is so amused by the absurdity of the situation that he doubles over in laughter, but in doing so he accidentally releases an errant bolt of lightning, killing the jellyfish pilot immediately.
"Worry not," says the ghost of the jellyfish's now-cooling corpse. "When I set my mind to something I'm gonna do it, and not even death will stop me. I'll pilot this here ship one final time from beyond the grave if I have to." The flagship then takes off, to the bartender's immense satisfaction.

Having watched the entire exchange from across the room, a mindless null shambles up to the bar. "Hey," says the mindless null, being completely mindless and having zero capacity for thought, speech or purposeful action. "That was quite the sight. Listen, I'm an aspiring pilot myself, but I see you're fresh out of shards of broken glass. Is there any way you can help me pilot that giant skyship once the dead jellyfish brings it back?"

Without a word, the bartender takes out a chariot.

Does Not Compute

Mark Rosewater has done some positive things for the game of Magic, but I have trouble believing he's done many of them. Why, you ask? Because he keeps pointing to the same tiny handful of decisions time and time again!

Card in Review - Necrotic Ooze

Since at least the days of Weatherlight, seeing an opponent dumping creatures into his graveyard en masse is reasonable cause for alarm. Most likely, you have to worry about some or all of those creatures being brought into play, often circumventing their mana costs along the way. But what happens if reanimation isn't the plan? What if the graveyard is exactly where they're intended to stay, and you in fact have to worry about something more fearsome than any or all of the creatures there... because it's in fact all of them at once?

Gundam: the Gathering

As stated in this article, the giant mechs from Invasion were Mark's second-most hated inclusion in Magic.

Those are some pretty harsh words. Hated them on a conceptual level more than everything else except guns! You can be sure to never see giant robots in any set Mark's at the helm of.

MVG (Most Vertical Goblin)

The recent printing of Goblin Freerunner made me realize something: ever notice that goblins have the extreme sports aspect of Magic on lockdown? Skiing, bobsledding, snowboarding, even parasailing... the rest of Dominaria's gotta step it up!

When is a goblin not a goblin?
When you tie it to a rock sled and push it
down a mountain, apparently.

Thus, we have collected the most foolhardy and adventurous little green guys from Skirk Ridge to Kuldotha, Akki and Mogg alike. The First Goblin Olympics covers all sorts of dangerous events, and even has a Torchrunner on loan from the Frogtosser Games. Let the mayhem commence!

Creatures
4 Fire Juggler
4 Goblin Bowling Team
4 Goblin Freerunner
4 Goblin Glider
4 Goblin Rimerunner
4 Goblin Rock Sled
4 Goblin Ski Patrol
4 Goblin Sledder
2 Mudbutton Torchrunner
4 Oxidda Daredevil

Lands
1 Arena
21 Snow-Covered Mountain

Card in Review - Enchanted Evening

Did you know Urza's block was supposed to be "the enchantment block"? It's true. Between Tolarian Academy, Metal Worker, Copper Gnomes and the like, everyone had artifice on the mind. But think about Replenish, Opalescence, the various "song" enchantments, the veiled creatures... they had certainly put in the work, we just all missed it. Apparently to get the enchantment theme across, you really have to hit a Magic player over the head with it. So what better way to make sure it's completely clear than by making everything an enchantment?

Memers of Kaladesh