Gimme Some Candy

Peanuts, raisins, nickels... Halloween hosts can sometimes throw real crap into your candy bag. And that's just while visiting the normal everyday American folk. Imagine what it's like in Dominaria. I did, and so I tapped my Orcish Spy to find out what those bizarre Magic denizens mete out. Now, I wish I'd never asked....

Juzam Djinn gives out li'l Arabian dudes.

Kird Apes ask if you have a forest, and if you do, they shower you with kisses.

Taunting Elf calls you a sissy for dressing up.

Wood Elemental gives you a tree. Bring a big bag.

Plague Spitters... well... you don't want to ring their doorbell.

Takklemaggots... actually, forget them, too.

Stone-Throwing Devils calmly put bags of peanut M&Ms in your sack. Surprised?

Sengir Autocrats hand out Serfs to the first three kids to their houses.

Demonic Tutor hands out anti-Satanism pamphlets. It's part of his community service.

Merfolk hand out fried Dan-Dan chunk on a stick.

Goblin Digging Team will give you anything you want in their neighbors' houses.

Abominations give you slices of their gums.

Carrion Ants give you chocolate-covered ants. Creepy, no?

Time Elementals return your lost youth & beauty. Bonus!

Rabid Wombats give you popcorn.

Licids give you a headache.

Coal Golems drop a load of burning hot cinders into your sack.

Rock Hydras give out little electric guitars.

Spitting Slugs give out spoonfuls of mucus-line phlegm.

Copper Gnomes give out pennies. Bastards!

Vesuvan Doppelgangers give you a Hershey Bar, then take it back and give you a Snickers, then take it back and give you a Three Musketeers, then take it back and...

Hidden Guerrillas don't open the door.

Walking Sponges can't open the door. They're just sponges, you know.

Mother of Runes gives you a li'l baby Rune.

Opal Champion never opens the door. It'd really, really like to open the door and give you candied apples, but it just can't.

Eron the Relentless keeps giving you individual, unwrapped Jujubes, until you just walk away.

Illusionary Forces drop something in your bag, but you can't figure out which candy was theirs.

Ebon Praetor gives nothing unless you're dressed as a bunny. Then, he gives you an apple.

Disease Carriers give you syphilis.