Multiplayer Madness

You and several of your friends sit down to play a big game of "chaos" multiplayer Magic fresh and full of enthusiasm. Three hours later, nobody is willing to do anything offensive, except for the guy who attacked early on - and he was ganged-up on and killed two-and-half hours ago. Now it's down to whoever played the least card-drawing and is decked last. Or maybe you got mana-screwed with only one land. For the first seven turns, your opponents took pity on you. Eventually, when you still had no land, they decided to put you out of your misery. Now, you've got to sit around for two hours - relegated to watching reruns of NBC's Saturday night "Thrillogy" - while your friends have fun.

Sound like your multiplayer games? If you've ever tried playing a large game with five or more players, you've probably run into these problems, and quite a few other ones as well. Fortunately, there are ways you can improve your multiplayer experience. Here are some of the common problems players encounter and a few solutions:

Enchant Enchantment

Local enchantments always want to be stuck on something else. Enchant creature, enchant player, even enchant world! Perhaps most accommodating of all is the enchant permanent, which can be stapled to anything at all, even... well, even another local enchantment, come to think of it. Is there something that can be done with this fact?

Consider this: play Indestructibility on one of your cards. Now play a second Indestructibility, enchanting the first one. Lastly, use Simic Guildmage to make the first Indestructibility instead enchant the second one (which is enchanting it in turn.) The result is two auras that are only kept in play by virtue of enchanting the other. Oh yeah, and in this case, they happen to be indestructible, too? Weird stuff.
"Something here is indestructible."
"What is?"
"The indestructibility."

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Toilet paper, squirt guns and toast? Sounds like Friday Night Magic to me. That, or the cult classic that is The Rocky Horror Picture Show! It's been playing in some theatres for well over 30 years, giving it more staying power than white weenie. So why not translate that to a deck? You can bust out your own audience participation lines every time you cast a spell. And if you ever had the urge to spontaneously break out in song and prance around in drag while playing Magic - and who hasn't? - here's your big chance!

The Cast
1 Bone Dancer (Frank N. Furter)
1 Ass(embly) Hall (Brad)
1 Gwendlyn Di Corci (Janet)
1 Enslaved Horror (Rocky Horror)
1 Sengir Autocrat (Riff Raff)
1 Coffin Queen (Magenta)
1 Wind Dancer (Columbia)
1 Musician (Eddie)
1 Wizard Mentor (Doctor Scott)
1 Archivist (The Criminologist)
1 Tolarian Enchanter (The Transylvanians)

The Show
1 Abduction
1 All Hallow's Eve
1 Lightning Bolt
1 Nightmare
1 Jinxed Ring (wedding)
1 Diabolic Machine (creation of Rocky)
1 Cyclopean Mummy (creation of Rocky)
1 Dance of Many (Floor Show)
1 Heat Ray (Riff Raff's laser)

The Songs
2 Vesuvan Doppelganger ("Science Fiction Double Feature")
1 Songs of the Damned ("Dammit, Janet")
1 Frankenstein's Monster ("Over at the Frankenstein Place")
1 Time Warp
1 Transmutation ("Sweet Transvestite")
1 Sword of the Ages ("Sword of Damocles")
1 Heat Wave ("Hot Patootie")
1 Touch of Darkness ("Touch-A Touch-A Touch Me")
1 Sunglasses of Urza ("Rose Tint My World")
1 Wild Colos ("Wild and Untamed Thing")
1 Goblin Hero ("Super Heroes")

The Props
1 Incinerate (toast)
1 Hydroblast (squirt gun)
1 Kaervek's Torch (matches)
1 Talruum Piper (toilet paper)

The Set
1 Castle Sengir
1 Rocky Tar Pit
4 City of Brass
7 Swamp
6 Island
5 Mountain

Ante Up

Ante cards were an interesting but generally disliked part of the Magic universe. In the game's beginnings, playing for ante was the expected thing to do - cards were on the line, and if you won it was considered good form to offer to trade your opponent's ex-ante card back for something else. Of course, with remarks of advocating satanism already on the game's head, Wizards didn't want the idea of supporting gambling in there as well. Also, rumour has it people don't like losing their cards. So, ante cards are all banned and no one really plays for ante anymore.

That doesn't mean it never happens. And if it does, there are some pretty rude tricks one can pull.

An evil deck can be built with just 56 swamps and four copies of Darkpact, a black sorcery that lets you switch the top card of your library with either ante card. You'll probably flip up a swamp as your ante card. You can later cast Darkpact to switch your top library card - another Swamp - with your opponent's ante card. Then concede and laugh maniacally.

Another nasty trick involves one of the few ante creatures, Tempest Efreet. Once your opponent has played something particularly nice, cast the Efreet, which lets you switch ownership of it and any card in your opponent's hand. Use discard to knock out his hand, then a bounce spell like Boomerang to pop a cool card back to his hand to be nailed by the Efreet. Not bad, but the clincher? Make a token of the Efreet and use it instead! Yes, you legally take one of your opponent's cards (or just win) and he gets squat. Pulling it off with Dance of Many is pretty mean, but see what happens when you enchant him with Splinter Twin.

Lastly, Contract from Below. What's the mean trick involving this card? Oh, just playing it. People said Ancestral Recall is okay for netting you three card for one mana; this gets you seven for the same amount. Plus, if you're playing 5-colour Magic, it has errata saying you don't ante anything if you're not playing for ante... meaning it has no real drawback. Whee....

Copper-plated Frogmite

A few years ago, while Mirrodin block was still in vogue, I was going through a 10-cent bin. Along the way I found... a Frogmite.

A very special Frogmite.



A goddamn copper-plated Frogmite.

So what's the story? Maybe some guy was sitting around at a Mirrodin draft, bored out of his skull as he waited, and decided to pimp out his Froggie. A copper gel pen, a solid common and too much time ended up as this. So yes, after decking out his mechanical frog with what should be at least a visual +0/+1 bonus, he stuffed it back into the bins. Now, it serves as the general of the 4 Frogmites in my Affinity deck - Hell, if I get a gold and a silver gel pen, I could have an entire heirachy of them.

I think we're on to something.

The Chess Game

So you just finished your zillionth game of Magic, and there's this strange feeling in your gut. No, it's not the Taco Bell special you had for lunch. It's an actual urge to play a game other than Magic. Lie down for a while; it might go away. If it doesn't, go ahead and try an old favourite - a game of chess. It has always been the game of kings, so maybe it could hold your attention for a while, too.

Chances are, you did not prepare for this eventuality. I mean, really, who plays anything other than Magic? So it is entirely possible that you don't have a chess set. Don't despair. You can draw a 64-square board on that old pizza box over there; it was stinking up the place anyhow. Then go ahead and use these Magic cards as your chess pieces.

White
1 King Suleiman (king)
1 Jhovall Queen (queen)
2 White Knight (knights)
2 Soltari Priest (bishops)
2 Castle (rooks)
8 Squire (pawns)

Black
1 Lord of the Pit (king)
1 Coffin Queen (queen)
2 Black Knight (knights)
2 Priest of Gix (bishops)
2 Castle Sengir (rooks)
8 Thrull Retainer (pawns)

Thumb's Up

Another installment in "Bad Card Made Good." Well... this time around, maybe "Bad Card Made Mediocre." So what are we dealing with today? Coin-flip cards. Every set seems to have them, virtually all of 'em suck and unfortunately they usually take up a rare slot. No surprise then that Krark's Thumb is a shiny, lustrous five-cent rare if ever there was one. Until we come along and break it, that is.

Krark's Thumb is not a curse for the intrepid deckbuilder, but an opportunity for fun - more fun than any Magic player should have. You just need to get the most abusable coin-flip cards out there in hand; from there it's a snap! This Krark's Thumb deck is perfectly suited for casual dueling or multiplayer mayhem. It can really nail an unsuspecting opponent, quickly reducing him to single digits. It's a fiery assault that will force even the most stalwart opponent to knuckle under. With all the reusable gimmicks a deck like this packs, it is ideal for chaos games, where double-helpings of cheese launch quite the joint offensive. Help me... I can't stop.

So how does one play with the Thumb? Certainly no Twiddle is required; although sideboarding one is a natural. Draw into a Thumb using Thirst for Knowledge, or Fabricate for one, then proceed to unleash the heavy artillery: Fiery Gambit. Don't forget to "go all in" and float mana before casting the Gambit; you'll need every last resource to unleash the nine new cards you're about to draw.

Artifacts
4 Krark's Thumb
2 Mirror Gallery
1 Wirefly Hive

Creatures
2 Goblin Archaeologist
3 Goblin Assassin
3 Siege-Gang Commander

Spells
3 Fabricate
4 Fiery Gambit
4 Lightning Bolt
1 Mana Clash
3 Shrapnel Blast
3 Stitch in Time
4 Thirst For Knowledge

Lands
2 Great Furnace
4 Island
2 Izzet Boilerworks
2 Mirrodin's Core
12 Mountain
2 Seat of the Synod

Sideboard
3 Goblin Sharpshooter
2 Havoc
2 Hibernation
2 Pyrostatic Pillar
4 Smash To Smithereens
1 Stabilizer
1 Twiddle